The Blue of Dawn
by JasperCanBiteMeAnyday
Summary: What if Bella had a boy, not a girl? What if Renesmee had been E.J? What if Jacob hadn't imprinted, instead had the urge the kill the child? One-shot


Fire. Intense burning fire, spreading through my veins. For almost three days now I have gone through this fiery torture. Aah. It feels like this acid heat is attacking my heart, focusing its pain, trying to stop the stubborn beating.  
When my heart finally does give in and stops, silenced for eternity, and all pain dissipates, my eyes flutter open in shock.  
The first thing I notice: clarity. Amazing clarity. I can see the smallest details, the tiny cracks in the walls, dust floating around, every wrinkle on the bed I am laying on.  
The second thing: sound. My hearing is…impeccable. I can hear cars on the main road over a mile away, I can hear light breathing in the same room as me, I can hear weightless footsteps throughout the house. And I can hear the angelic cry of a baby boy downstairs. My baby boy. EJ. Edward Jr.  
The sudden urge to hold EJ is overpowering, commanding all muscles in my new granite body to do as it says. I am in a standing position in the blink of a vampire eye, and there is my gorgeous husband.  
My Edward. His coal black eyes burn through me. They look so sad. I walk to him in graceful steps, wanting so badly to make that sadness disappear.  
I stroke his face with my pale fingers. He grabs my hand with his, holding it to his face as he inhales. For the first time ever, his hand doesn't feel icy cold, it actually feels somewhat warm.  
"You still smell very good." He says to me. I glance up at him in confusion. How can I still smell good when I have no more blood left in me?  
He smiles at me, that crooked smile that he knows I love so much, seeing the confusion on my face.  
"Not in an appetizing way. You still smell like roses and freesia, but it's more of essence or a perfume." He said  
I inhaled deeply. My sense of smell has intensified also, making his scent do the same. He smells over a hundred times better than when I was human, which I would have thought impossible until now. Then a couple more scents hit me. A minty aroma; Jasper, a citrusy one; Alice, a lavender one; Esme, one that smells like Abercrombie cologne; Emmett, another that reminds me of nature, but in a good way; Carlisle, and one that's like cherries; Rosalie.  
And another one, one that consumes all my energy. One that is actually appetizing. Human. My mouth fills with venom, and I crouch in a hunting stance. I then remember that EJ must be part human. I can't believe I am actually even thinking about killing my EJ!  
I straighten and hold my breath. Edward has already picked me up and flies out the window. We are soon miles away. I now understand the Cullen's need for speed with my new vision.  
About five miles away, Edward sets me down. I'm scared to breath, but I do it anyway. EJ's scent is too far away for me to smell.  
"How did you do that, Bella?" Edward asks in awe.  
"Do what?" I asked him, my own voice surprising me. It sounds beautiful.  
"You smelled human, began the hunt, and then stopped. A vampire usually never is able to stop mid-hunt, much less a newborn." He said. It shocked me, and I thought about it for a second.  
"Well…I just thought about my baby and how I was definitely not letting anything hurt him. And maybe since I was so disgusted by blood as a human, it carried over as a vampire. Of course, I can't be completely immune because I wanted the blood, but maybe I have some kind of super self-control." I said, not really talking to him, just speaking to myself.  
He thought about this for a while. Finally, he said "Hmm, we'll discuss this later with Carlisle, for now lets get you something to drink, you must be so thirsty." He's right; the back of my throat is dry and burning.  
I drank a couple deer and the burn dulled until it was just an itch in the back of my throat.  
I was running around, just enjoying my speed, when I caught my reflection in a small brook.  
I gasped. My chestnut hair is longer and thicker, a bit wavier, and the natural auburn highlights are a bit more defined. My lips have changed from being thin and pale pink to being full and rose-red. My features are perfect, and my skin is snow white. The only thing that bothers me is my eyes. They aren't really any bigger, already being pretty big as a human, and they have darker and thicker eyelashes framing them, but instead of being chocolaty brown, they are a bright sinister red. This is probably one of the reasons Edward was sad.  
Edward appeared behind me, not scaring me only because I had heard him coming. He wrapped his arms around my waist. We both stared into the water. I actually look like I belong with him now.  
"Bella, love, there is something I need to tell you." He said. I whirled around to face him, not liking the tone of his voice. He sounds sad, angry, and unwilling to tell me.  
"What is it?" I ask.  
"When you were basically…dead, before the venom had taken affect, Jacob had thought you were actually gone, and not coming back." He spoke the words "dead" and "Jacob" grudgingly.  
"He was very upset and very angry. He really blamed EJ and I for killing you, which he had a right to do. He was blinded by fury, any rational thought gone from his mind, Bella, we couldn't prevent it." He sounds so sad, and he is actually trembling. I need to know what had happened to my Jacob!  
"Edward, please, tell me what happened." I said, trying to be as gentle as possible in his frail state.  
"He tried to attack EJ, and Rose jumped away just in time. Emmett walked in at exactly the wrong moment, and thought he was threatening Rose. They got in a fight, and Jasper came to help him while Alice helped Rose. Jacob put up a good fight, wanting to bring down as many of us as possible before he went, and making lunges for EJ. I honestly don't think they meant to kill him, but it was inevitable." He said, trembling furiously now, as was I.  
Jacob? My Jacob? Gone? Never to return to me, never to see his sunshine smile, never to wrap me into those tight, warm embraces, never to let me pet his russet fur again. He had helped me through the darkest time of my life, he had been my best friend, he had stuck with me though I couldn't offer him anymore than that, and he had died because of me!  
I was also angry with him for trying to attack my precious baby boy. Yet, like always, even though he's dead, I can't be mad at Jake for long.  
I drop to my knees on the wet forest floor, sobbing uncontrollably without tears. Edward drops down next to me, trying to remain composed.  
"He was so young, he had a huge life expanded before him!" I said, my words slurring together. Though he did bring his death upon himself, I can't help but feel a little anger and resentment for Jasper and Emmett. It slides by quickly, though, realizing they were just protecting EJ and their mates.  
After a very long time on the forest floor, we head home. I demand to see EJ, and though Edward is dubious about my control, I convince him I won't attack my own son.  
"He's been asking for you for three days now." Edward told me.  
"Asking for me? He's only three days old, how can he talk?" I questioned, though I am joyous on the inside about EJ's obvious liking of me.  
"He is very special, love, he has his own communication ways." Edward told me.  
When we arrive home, Alice and Jasper are waiting for us.  
"Everything will work out with Bella and the baby. She won't hurt him." She said, giving me a flashback of when I first came to the Cullen's house such a very, very long time ago and she spoke almost the exact same words to Jasper, except talking about me. So much had changed since then. I'm no longer a fragile human, I am a strong vampire. And I am a mother.  
Jasper looked averse to the idea of me being so close to a human, but he hid it pretty well. Edward quickly filled them in on my recent incident with EJ's blood and how I was able to stop the hunt, while I cautiously made my way to the big white door.  
I opened it very slowly, not breathing like I had been for a couple miles now. And right there, in the living room, sitting on Rose's lap sucking on a metal bottle, is my baby.  
I rushed up to him and the suddenness of it scared Rose and caused her to jump up and whip around growling. She looked scary and vicious and like she was about to bite my head off. She didn't entirely relax when she realized it was only me, probably afraid of me killing the darling baby since I am only a newborn.  
I held my hands out expectantly anyways. She reluctantly handed him over and I got my first good look at him.  
He has curly copper hair that has my texture and Edward's color, and bright green eyes, just like Edward's must have been, but the same bone structure as me and slightly out of proportion lips as I still do, and creamy alabaster skin with a flush of scarlet on both cheeks, like rose petals.  
When he saw me, a look of utter joy came across his face. He squeals and laughs, reaching up to wrap his arms around my neck in an adorable little hug and snuggles his face into the crook of my neck. His heart beating so close to me and the blood pumping through him makes him very alluring, but I fight the temptation back. I can't loose control with my own son.  
He rises back up and puts his hand on my face. I see the past three days. Me, laying on that hospital-like blue and white bed, my back arching and my nails clawing at my own skin. The fight between Emmett, Jasper and Jacob, which I didn't really enjoy seeing. Edward stroking his hair and telling him he would be able to be with mommy soon. Alice dressing him in tons of different designer outfits and Rose and Esme cooing and crooning to him pretty much all the time.  
My eyes were probably huge when the pictures faded and I returned to the living room. Edward was standing next to me and whispered, "It's his way of communication. Just like your mind shield, but flipped around so he can let people in. And I don't think you realize how much he loves and absolutely adores you." The feeling of his cool breath on my ear sent tingles through my body, while my insides fluttered from the words.  
Rose came and stood next to me, staring affectionately at EJ. "He's beautiful, Bella, perfect. You made the right choice in carrying him, not killing him." She said. I basked in her acceptance and the fact that I finally did something she would have done if she were me.  
Things are absolutely perfect now, and I know they will stay that way for a long time.

EJ  
The Volturi came to destroy the Cullen's and EJ but the Cullen's formed a small army in preparation and the Volturi retreated.  
EJ stopped aging when he was sixteen. He fell in love with another half-breed named Violet who was created by a British vampire and carried by a French woman. She had pale blond hair and was very small for her age.  
They got married, and had kids that were also half-breeds. Bella and Edward were always together and always happy. Rosalie and Bella remained good friends, as well as Alice and Bella.  
The line of half-breeds kept going, and the Volturi never tried to stop it again. To this day, the Cullens live happily with their many, many, many half-breed decedents.


End file.
